“People say HATE is a strong word but, so is LOVE and people throw it around like it’s nothing.” Author unknown. Recording artists for decades have tossed the word LOVE around in many of their hit songs. Tina Turner released a song in 1984 with a lyric that says, “What’s love got to do with it?” She refers to love as a second-hand emotion. People have commonly referred to love as the universal language.
There is a book, the Bible, that contains God’s redemptive love story. This book has been translated into several languages, while work continues to get this book into the hands of all people. The Bible has much to say about love. In 2 Corinthians 13:8 the Bible says, “Love never fails.” (NIV) In 1 John 4:16b, “God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” (NLT) So how do we answer the question, what’s love got to do with it? To God, love is everything. To the world, love is greatly misunderstood, confused and improperly used to persuade people to accept sin in the name of love.
In this blog post I want to address this question, if love never fails then why do so many marriages? I pray this blog post will give you some biblical insight into marriage, whether you are currently married or contemplating marriage in the future. I also pray our marriages will be strengthened, and we will experience a love together that can only come from God as we continue to become one with our spouses.
God created marriage. The biblical directive for marriage was established in the Garden of Eden in Genesis 2:24, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” (NLT) God never intended for marriage to be done outside of fellowship with Him. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (NIV) We cannot take marriage lightly. The connection we have as a married couple is a big deal to God.
It wasn’t long though before Satan showed up on the scene. Threatened by the power of a Godly marriage, Satan wanted to take God out of the equation. Satan, the master of rebellion, knew all he would have to do was to get them to disobey God. Satan just had to make Adam and Eve doubt what God had told them. Well it worked, Adam and Eve ate from the tree that was forbidden of them to eat. Thus, came the fall of man. Adam and Eve were cast from the garden into an imperfect world. They also experienced the fall of their marriage from God as sin became a part of their life.
God had a plan to restore man back to fellowship with Him. Satan was not ready for this. God would send His son Jesus to die on a cross to give men the chance to restore not only their relationships with God, but their marriages as well. This is significant because God would accomplish these two things through the sacrifice of Jesus in our marriages. First, our marriages would shadow the trinity of God. We wonder how God can be three in one. However, if a man and woman are united as one you can still see two individuals. This is no different with God. If two can be one, so can three. Second, the love the husband has for his wife should reflect the love Jesus has for the church. Ephesians 5:25 – 26, “For husbands this means love you wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.” (NLT)
At this point you might be tempted to throw in the towel, wondering how you can live up to such a high standard. This is why we need God. He sets the stage for love, setting loves parameters. God is the source of love. 1 John 4:8 says God is love. “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” (NLT) The love that God shows us has nothing to do with how He feels emotionally. It is not dependent on if we deserve it or not. We are able to turn love on and off like a light switch if we desire to. Our spouse could come to us and just decide that they don’t love us anymore. God cannot do that because He always loves and does so unconditionally. This is proven over and over again by an empty cross and empty grave. We need to draw from the source of love, that is God.
We are accustomed to running out of everything. Gas, money, energy, time, you name it and we will run out of it eventually. Sorry Energizer, even your bunny! Not love however, if it is from God. His love is endless. It does not stop, breakdown or quit. God’s love for us does not hinge on our love for Him. Neither should our love for our spouse. This is why we need God’s love. We may feel our spouse is unlovable. We must love. We may think they do not deserve it. We must love. If we want to be married for a lifetime, we must love for a lifetime. Just as God loves us for a lifetime. If you win an endless supply of Big Mac’s, McDonalds will still pose some type of limit. This is not true of God and we, as well, cannot limit the love we have for our spouse. Lamentations 3:22, “The faithful love of the lord never ends! His mercies never cease.” (NLT)
Marriage is meant for a lifetime. It is not unrealistic to be married for 50 years or more. Since the love of God is unending, our marriages need to be rooted in this type of love. God’s love will allow us to endure both good and bad through the years that we have together. If we love through our own power, it will only drain us. It is the unending love of God that fills us. If God is filling us, our love for our spouse should never end, and our marriages should thrive.
I would compare a rooted and thriving marriage to that of a rooted thriving flower. An avid gardener will tell you a plant cannot survive without establishing a strong root system. There must be ample soil that provides the correct nutrients to feed the roots. Gardeners take very seriously growing beautiful colorful flowers. They sometimes will cut the flower at its roots, showing it off as a magnificent centerpiece. Once the flower is severed from its roots however, it will only wither and fade away. The same is for our marriages, if they are not rooted and connected to the source of love, they will not thrive and time can take its toll on them. Ephesians 3:17, “Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.” (NLT)
Lastly, God has unfailing love. Exodus 34:6, “The Lord passed in front of Moses, calling out, ‘Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness….’” (NLT) This was one of those “duh” moments for me. If God’s love is unfailing, it NEVER fails! The struggle I have sometimes is that I fail to love. It is a choice that I have to make. God made that choice through the promise of a messiah and fulfilled it through the sacrificial death of Jesus.
We have trouble understanding anything that is unfailing. We continually deal with failures throughout our lives. We fail to get the job, we can fail on an exam, and we can fail to meet a deadline. There is always some chance of failure lingering over our heads. This is not so with God. God never fails to love us. Everything God does is because He loves us. Here is a good question for us then – Is everything we do to and for our spouse because we love them? Ouch! We can say hurtful words, put our jobs before them and even sometimes show more attention to the dog. What is the solution? Love! Romans 13:10, “Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law.” (NLT)
In no way is this meant to be an all-inclusive list for applying God’s love in marriage. My goal is to show, that by using God’s love in our marriages, we can transform them! God has so much to share about His love. I suggest as husband and wife, you study the Bible together to discover how much more there is about love to be found.
Ford created the automobile, and Bell created the phone. In their day, these men knew best how their creations operated, worked and functioned. Since God created marriage, He knows likewise how marriage works. His word contains the book Song of Songs, written for us to see God takes marriage seriously. Within the words of this book lies so much about intimacy, closeness, desire, pursuing love and much much more.
Malachi 2:16 says, “’For I hate divorce’ says the God of Israel….” (NLT) This verse also goes on to say we need to guard our hearts. Satan wants us to love things more than we love God and our spouses, wanting us to forsake the two most valuable relationships that we could ever have.