What Does Your Marriage Reflect?

Groucho Marx once said “The husband who wants a good marriage should learn to  keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.” This quote reflects the purpose of a husband as a mere ATM bank machine and the wife as an individual consumer. This quote gives the world a poor reflection of how marriage should be seen. However, have you ever stopped to consider what type of marriage you have? What are you reflecting to the world as God has brought you together as husband and wife?

Many marriages have a poor reflection of what they really are to be. Can you relate to any of these poor reflections listed below?

Heavy Weight Championship Bout. This marriage reflects lots of fighting and one of the spouses ultimately trying to throw the knockout punch.

Hangover Marriage. This marriage has one spouse always trying to hold something over the other spouse. One spouse is attempting to gain from the failure of the other,

Librarian Marriage. In this marriage, a couple remains quiet and never has the opportunity to deal with the issues at hand. A spouse in this marriage never has the chance to share their deepest needs.

Fly By Marriage. This marriage is like an army jet plane making a fly by before a football game. There is never enough quality time spent together because everyone is continually on the go.

Stalemate Marriage.  This marriage is reflective of a chess match when there is no winner. Each spouse tries to retain control and in doing so strips the other of their worth.

Driftwood Marriage. In this marriage, you start with a purpose but eventually you begin to drift apart. You become detached and move around without a purpose.

Teammate marriage. In this marriage, the spouses get their worth from doing things together: for example – raising kids. Eventually the kids get older and the spouses try to find a new game in which to participate.

Hijacked Marriage. In this marriage, one of the spouses overtakes the marriage. They have total control of its direction and require their spouse to meet unrealistic demands.

Genesis 2:24 states “This is why a man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh.” This union should be reflective of God and His attributes. A marriage should reflect love, mercy, grace, peace, forgiveness and so on. Many times sin does not allow us to have the proper reflection of God. So, as men, what are we to do to make our marriages the reflection of God that it should be? The answer is found in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it.” What a challenge to love our wives as Jesus loves the church! So let’s break it down.

A question for husbands is, “Would you be willing to die for your wives as Jesus died for the church?” The majority of husbands would answer yes to this question, however, rarely would we ever have to do so. Therefore, as husbands, I do not think this crosses our minds very often.

Husbands, we are to love our wives unconditionally as Jesus does the church. This can be very challenging. As husbands, we must love without expecting anything in return. Husbands, our wives may not love us in the same way we think they should love us. Our wives may not treat us the way we think they should treat us, or our wives may not do things for us the way we think they should. Regardless, we are to love our wives as Jesus loves the church. As husbands, we cannot hold back our love until we get the love we want or the respect we want. We just need to love like Jesus unconditionally.

As husbands, we are to protect and provide for our wives just as Jesus does for the church. Jesus protects the church through His word, the Bible. The words of Jesus are there so we can build our relationship with Him. His word warns us of obstacles and sins that may interfere in our relationship Him. We know through His word that our relationship is secure with Jesus! Husbands, our marriages should reflect the same protection. We should be growing in our relationship with our wives. As husbands, are we overcoming the obstacles that hinder intimacy in our marriages? Are we securing our relationship against outside attacks from the enemy? How secure do each of us make our wives feel in our marriages?

Jesus provided himself for the church. His broken body and shed blood to allow us to have a relationship with God. Jesus is everything the church needs. Husbands are we everything our wives need? Husbands must provide emotional stability, financial obligation and spiritual leadership to maintain the intimate bond with our wives the same as Jesus does for the church.

God has given husbands precious wives to take care of in the marital union. Men, how are you measuring up? Ask your wife this question. Are you willing to hear her answer? Do you reflect God in our marriage?